9:07:00 PM
hell-ish nightmare, really. and you all tell me its not my fault. i have little idea what to think, other than feeding upon the words you tell me. but the bible doesnt preach violence.


Forgiveness for the Sinner
2corinthians 2:5-8

5If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. 6The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. 7Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.


if anything, telling him to read it isnt enough. i shld have read it out to him. everything just jumped onto a fast speed train, now everything's gone. famous words of those that regret: it's too late. how can i take the responsibility of seeing a friend walk away? lose sight of the light?


nightmares in broad daylight.
black shadows that grip and dont let go.

and anger is just one letter short of danger.


i wish this had never happened. i just need to run run run away. heck the knee injury. i just need to run, and let my feet do the thinking. ha. get rid of the mantra in my head; its your fault your fault your fault. because, logically thinking IT ISNT.


nightmares in broad daylight.
black shadows that grip and dont let go.

feet that pound up slanting surfaces and
voices that plead, yell and beg for help.

lies cemented in a brick wall.
bottles of truth flung over like a life vests.
its up to me, right?
to cling on tight without another thought,
as one would when drowning.

but i want to think.
have my own conclusions,
and questions unanswered go round like a goldfish.
blurb and bubble out yet another twist.

but i pick up my mallet and say a prayer.
tip-toe up to that black brick wall.
its something i want to smash myself.
something i want to face, with God on my side.
something i can face, with God at my side.

God help me. help them.

ale