when i get nervous, when i worry, i tend to peel skin off my lips. sometimes in class, to stay awake, i rip off what belongs to me. the pain makes me stop for a while, but never too much so as i dont come back. i dont want to think that i enjoy hurting myself.
the night before an exam, i will lie in bed, and stare at the darkend celling, fingers busy.
the next day, i would wake up with my lips coated in dried blood, sealed together like something out of a horror story.

as a result,
chapped, blistered, peeling, dry, rough and smooth at seperate intervals, abnormally too red, bleeding and broken.

and i continue to rip them out. maybe one day i will succed in scarring myself. sigh.
do these things always heal?




why am i blogging this?

unguarded hearts are easy to throw a spear through. what are you going to do then?
(im such a fool.)

i have no idea. i dont want to think i enjoy hurting myself.