everything in my world ceased to make sense when my mother suddenly decided it would do me good to spend time with a random bunch of guys from church watching chicken little.
-dont look at the computer like that. i didn go.-

instead. i went ice skating and appreciated the fact that i didn get blisters that bad and i didn fall. as i skimmed, wobbled and pinwheeled wildly to regain my balance and saw people pinwheel wildly to regain their balance and thus felt extremly wobbly myself due to a lack of concentration, and skated, i felt some spark of the aletheia i knew back then. the girl who knew that ultimately- she would be alone.

; and i let my tears drip. and ruin my dreams.
splat.


have you ever

(i never really thought of it like that.
or made a plan for my life.

but when i was three.
the tv changed my life,
with a show called jesus.

and i knew.
he was the guy that i wanted to be mine.
to be the one i would run to.
and to be the one whose arms i loved.
to be the one my hope and trust of a three yeear old would be placed in.

and you said:
it isnt possible for a three year old to accept
christ.
you wouldnt know you were a sinner.

and a little bit of me broke away.
i did!
i cry. but the sound didn get past my lips.
the massive void of broken dreams swallowed

and maybe.
i didn.
but i still wanted to believe.)


felt the splinter of a dream you haboured as a child
and sat hunched over
as a fiber of glass worked its way into you
and that warm dwelling in your heart felt
odd.
because nothing was there

and it ; was taken out.
cause ultimately.
he wont ever go away.



and this is my story.
my walk began with a show called
jesus.