yeaaaahhh. couldnt solve the darn sry-ale-cant-read-anything-on-your-blog problem therefore i changed the layout. again. maybe i've got a fetish for html now. ^^ hahaha. did my blog, my dream blog nicky's blog and now back to my blog agian. oh yay.

but wells. green.

sc lost to acs i in debate. i would say; again. but isnt there this limit to losing to one particular school? time and time again.. i didn hear jon's debrief, or the adjudicator's perhaphs so im not clear why.

all the way back to bangkit me and danITZA would randomly burst out; why did we lose why why why.

and i just had to go to church.
it can eat away your very stomach if you dont feed yourself food right? i mean. HCl IS acidic and thats how you get stomach oulcers and everything. same thing spiritually. the past whole week has been one big fight between me and myself- as odd as it sounds. and the scary thing is; are those thoughts mine and my true opinions, or are they the guy down there's lies.
so yes. i was happy to see rachel and jaime and shirley and julai and nicky and xide again. my darling WG. and even more so when i heard the sermon. maybe happy isnt the right word. more like- a wave of understanding ^^
everytime i try to reach out to a friend, im sticken with fear. and i seek support. so saturday's sermon made me realise that that was FEAR- a paraletic spirit. and i had to recognise that and overcome it. in the Lord's name of course.

and thus;
are you ready to put on the amour of God and walk in truth?
am i?

rachel prayed for the spirit of david.
and i prayed for the spirit of paul.

but yes.
the grace sanctuary is a safe haven.

our, safe haven.


-
i have little idea why i ended up hanging arnd with TMS. hahaa. they're a great bunch of people, and jokers. xD
many thanks to Jan who steered me in the right direction in terms of guitar.hahaa.

at the bb court there were two groups of people i noticed.
one;
a small grp of guys sitting not far from where i was. listening to Jan play guitar. it seems foolhardy to approach them. they could easily just whip out a kinfe and have you ME running. but is that what God is calling? i wouldnt have noticed them at all if they had not pointed and laughed.
but just like in camp. i had no idea whatsoever what to do. and the feeling sucks. but i think i've come to understand that its times like this you're called to give everything into God's hands and trust. then- he uses you to do his plan.
and two;
youths smoking and negotiating the use of the court by stalking arnd. they reminded me of hawks. proud, fierce and dangerous. then we ran. the need to go home was calling. the need to go somewhere safer than the hangout place of suspicious characters (to me anyone who smokes is dangerous and a socially irresponsible person) tugged me. i have no idea abt the guys. after all. i barely know any of them.

is the context different from when the irealites ran from goliath?



-
so many things are troubling me and pushing forward to be thought out.

'guitar.
'concern for shirley.
'our failed attempts at trying to get together to pray.
'parents.
'my attitude.
'guitar.


sometimes i
feel like bursting.
but sometimes i
want to deflate, like a
punctured beach ball and
fold myself away at the
bottom of the box.
and sometimes.
i feel like
hiding under the blanket
and so.

the paraletic spirit will
have its iron vice fisted around
my upper arm,
dragging me down.
and
without an
AMOUR of truth
righteouness
readiness in peace
faith
salvation and
the word of God
i will stay down.


so while my poetry drops down two notchs in standards okay wait not the point.
so while i pray for my brothers and sisters in christ. guys, i ask for prayer too. thanks.


eph 6:19
Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.