note/warning: i haven't posted one of these for ages. freaking long and wordy entry. (:

hullo. i've been reading blogs. blogs that belong to a (really hwat) poly student and some sec 4 kid who's in a neighbourhood school and has a totally different attitude towards studying. and i can't help but feel jealous that they have such a carefree, happy-go-lucky, heck care attitude and life. okay, so admittedly it may not be thaaat good in retrospect, but still. i've never been able to break rules without worrying, or don't study without feeling guilty. i can't even sleep in class without feeling useless. but i'm wistfully thinking of poly life now.


btw, Saturday. i should have known that it would happen. -_-" the first thing i did when i got into the auditorium... was to trip and fall. in front of everyone. aieeeyah. so unglam and awkward. the stairs were just asking for it, they were very steep, small and carpeted in a slippery material. but nooo.. i'm the only one clumsy enough to trip. *buries head*
i wish life had a Ctrl-Z button.

"that's so you." between laughter.
i told my friends in school and they has a hearty laugh.
i've since concluded that people just need the entertainment once in awhile. if i had realised that, i would have just done the whole thing well -trip, fall flat and curl up into a ball. might as well right.
sigh, sometimes i dont understand my own logic.


school had an interesting end to it. hahaha. in Bio we dissected sheep's hearts and something's kidneys. very, very interesting. :d
the first thing mrs Cha said was: 'These animals have been sacrificed for your A1s. absolutely no screaming girls.' effectively takes that morbid smile right off my face. and my dad told me to fast for three days and three nights.

the kidneys were bean shaped, seriously. and all gooey and sticky and egg-yolky. the moment i had one in my (gloved) hands i squealed. immediate attachment. hahaha. nearly in every bio prac, i find something to get emotionally attached too. last last time it was peanuts that we had to draw, last time it was long beans and peas while everyone else was bent over their prawns. hahaha. i brought home and still have the peanuts. somewhere. :d

so kidneys. i stopped smiling at them when we cut them open. the smell was soooo bad. it was like someone stuck his fist in my gut and twisted my insides. and the heart wasn't any better either. urgh. even then, i liked our heart better. it was exactly like how it was in the textbook. :DDDD and you could stick your finger through the arteries and veins and everything. and the valves! were so cute! hahahaha. oh, after awhile me, gen and fishy stopped identifying things and just started poking the heart randomly.

'eh, this wall is like, super thick can!'
'the tendon thingy can't break! how cool..'
'do you think it's ticklish if i do this?' this is the quote of the day that will always make me smile.

'thump thump! where's the thump thump! awww, i love this!'

i went home to be sick from the overwhelming nauseating smell- slept from three hours before i felt well enough to do anything. geesh, maybe i'm not cut out to be a bio student. or maybe i can get nose plugs or something. hahahha, how unglam is that. :/

this is sad. i cannot be glam or drop dead gorgeous or petite.
i can just be clumsy, funny to a certain extent and cute in an act cute way...
and well, i can be me.