Nostalgic loss.

you know that exhilarating feeling you get. from reading a great book? (and 'great' is so so so underrated.) you know the way the author convert letters into words into phrase into sentences into plotlines and
the way you're unsure if this is a good read, then get drawn into the world created by the author without knowing, feeling emotions not yours but Sonea's, living in a world that exists only between covers, tensing as events that dont take place take place... and then all too soon the trilogy's over.

so all you're left with is a feeling beyond the descriptive power of words- exhilaration and loss. exhilaration because you're still in an alternate universe overdose (overdose in a positive way) mode. you still half believe magic exists. then irreplacable loss, because physically, there is no fourth book, there is no more Imardin no matter how immaterial it may have been, nor is there the Magician's Guild. the magic ends there.

the magic ends there.

its the same with movies. or great materpieces of art or just a really pretty beautiful inspiring and thought provoking deviantart and akin. and a heart lifting song and its lyrics. and even things as simple as your obsessions. i'm suffering from the loss of Akkarin and the Black Magician Trilogy. just as i have suffered countless times before from the overdoses of Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and less worthy to be mentioned drama serials that were fads.


my purpose in writting this? to lessen the pain of yet another loss. to acknowledge the fact that immunity to such is impractical by my own nature. to let you know, that magic does exist. exactly like how you believed it to exist when you where a young child-

it exists within your immagination.


i can live with forgetting the plot of the Black Magician's Trilogy. but i dont want to face an 'O' level year without my source of comforting magic. i don't want to push myself so hard to the extent that i break down. if you can sense the danger i face, while i'm oblivious and in denial, dont tell me, but take me on a wild joyride.