my roller coaster of a life.
is not much fun living out.

you know.
i think suicide and sleeping pills dont make much of a

poetic, non-conformist death message.

its altogether too cliche, too easy because people actually hand you a whole packet of them, and too normal in this pretty much screwed up world. that's why i've gotta find another way to make you realise whatever i want to make you realise.

(no matter that it's not new script lines to me. every time you recite them of the page of your heart, it makes mine shirvel and curl up in a ball and i want to be thrown out of the window. just like our relationship. but i cant do that, get thrown out of the window to fly, that is. so i cry.)

hahahhaa, im so immature.
at least i was able to realise in time, that the only thing i had left in this world worth living for, was GOD. thank God for that. gaw.


BECAUSE EVEN THO THE WORLD MAY STOP CARING, LOOKING AND LOVING.
I STILL HAVE SOMEONE THAT DIED FOR ME, WHEN I STILL WAS DIRTY AND SINFUL.
and i want to stand beside you in heaven, and sing praises.

so it's not over yet
because i still have God.
because i still have God.
because i still have God.

and i'll stick to the mantra of my heart.