so. today has just proved how stupid i am.
today, i discover that anguish comes with a bubble. its your own little personal bubble of anguish, and no one else can feel it. no one else can hear that silent scream tearing its way out of your throat.

it's only promos, it's not A levels.

oh God, this is to drive in the point that without you, I'm nothing, right? this is my punishment for trying to do everything on my own strength and not depending enough on you. right?
oh, God.
I CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT MY OMAS. I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO SHADE IT.
faillllllll.

the funny thing is, i can tell the future.
i knew i'd need tissue today. i went as far as to put it in my pocket.
i also walked in knowing with a sinking heart that i was going to fail. i should have known, during the paper, that even though i felt like i could do some / most / a fraction of the questions, i still wasn't going to pass. i knew it right from the start.
it's like a self fulling prophecy.

sigh.

as rae said. at least the one good thing that comes out of today is the numerous quotes that were created. in the midst of my laughing-crying fit.

1.
ale: ' I could have gotten an S!!!!'
2.
ale: ' do you want to go frolick with us?' :D
3.
hi jlee! :D
hi! how was chem? (:
smile slips off face immediately. :|
crazy laughter and bewildered looks.
4.
rae to a laughing / crying aletheia: ' now you can say that you've multi-tasked successfully.'
5.
ale: this got to be the stupidest thing i've done.
jo: not so sure about that!

thank you friends, for trying to talk sense into me, for cheering me up, for not leaving me in a heap on the floor while i was crying unglamly, even tho you could have. and i bet it was tempting to do so too. thank you for laughingly accepting my nonsense that ensued, thank YOU for treating me to frolick icecream just to cheer me up, thank you for showing me where the knives and choppers were in cold storage.

thank you for being there for me when i needed you most.
thank you. (:

lost twenty five marks due to stupidity.
but i also gained peace in knowing that i can trust you.
maybe, you're worth it.

ale